Festive Greetings from This Is Not Happening and welcome to our year-end, 2025 wrap-up episode. As always we split the pod into Part 1 and Part 2.Part 1 features our Top 10 favourite albums of 2025. We use a proprietary algorithm to create our list our collective favourite albums, we're talking nascent data-science excellence! Every year it throws up some surprises as our tastes are so different (and in some ways so similar.Part 2 features a festive Spin It or Bin It. We each bring a candidate for track of the year and ask the age old question 'Spin It or Bin It' … will anyone really bin anyone elses Track of the Year? Probably.To retain the tension, I won't share any spoilers here … other than to share a 40 track playlist of some of our favourite 2025 tracks … here.Whatever you do at this time of year, who ever you do it with … have a good one.Please join us in January where we will go back to the usual format of Album of the Month + Spin It or Bin It.We've been writing the blog for years come and have a look – https://thisisnothappening.net/
In Part 1 we speak in depth about Rozi Plain’s new album ‘Prize’. It’s a curious, warming gem of an album that really needs to be talked about. In Part 2 we play ‘Spin it or bin it?’, the theme this month is Protest Music.
Part 1 | Album of the Month | Rozi Plain | Prize
David’s choice this month is an artist that he has a long relationship with, Rozi Plain. Rozi was new to the rest of us so we were all playing catch up. I can’t remember an album that needs to be talked about (in real life, with human beings) as Prize. You will hear me processing what I actually feel about the album, live, while we discuss it. I think I probably come out of the discussion with a slightly different conclusion to the one that I had at the start. All good albums get better with more attention but this one absolutely demands it.
Please, please, please go and give it a listen. I think most people will find something that they love about this album.
Konstantinos Papis’s interview for Our Culture – Here
Part 2 | Spin It or Bin It | Protest Music
We all pick a track based on a theme, present the track and ask the simple question, Spin it or Bin it? The theme this month is a simple one ‘Protest Music’. There are no limitations or rules this month other than, as always, we try to bring new music or a new context to each other.
I’m a big fan of mystery in music. By that I mean, listening to something and not quite knowing what it means, or what the words are saying, or what the melody is doing – but somehow, mysteriously, being moved by it. Bowie is, of course, the master of this, and Kate Bush likewise. But it’s always great when you come across something in the corner of the musical universe that is somehow not quite like anything else. You couldn’t quite say what genre it is, why you connect with it, or why it specifically speaks to you. Rozi Plain falls squarely into that category for me.
I first came across Rozi via This Is The Kit, the Bristol based folk-rock band fronted by the brilliant Kate Stables. And I first came across This is The Kit, bizarrely enough on a Maison Kitsuné chill out compilation sometime in the late noughties, when I was still taking my daughter to nursery, because I remember how much she liked the song ‘Two Wooden Spoons’.
Rozi P is a member of that band and tours and plays with them, as well as forging her own solo career. I’ve loved This Is The Kit for a long time, though interestingly I would say that they are a folk/folk rock/alt folk band. Whereas I’m not sure what Rozi Plain is. Anyway, I first came Rozi via Kate Staples, and at some point, I must have decided to listen to her 2016 album What A Boost.
Everything about that album is ‘unassuming’. The cover art, where Rozi has her hood on a raincoat, back to camera, facing a field. It’s like a not very good camera photo. It’s not artful, it’s very ordinary. She doesn’t look like a pop star at all. She never has, actually. I’ve never seen her do a ‘photoshoot’. Anyway, if I’m being honest, I liked but didn’t love that album. I guess I was expecting This Is The Kit v2, but actually it much more subtle, introspective and – yes – unassuming. It sounded like it didn’t mind if you listened to or not, it was there anyway, quietly existing in it own little corner.
How I underestimated that album. Because in the last 3 years, I bet you it’s one of the albums I’ve played the most. I return to it like a lost friend and I’m always happy to see it. And here’s the thing – I still feel like has a mystery to it, like I don’t quite know what it is. But it got under my skin like nothing else. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to describe her music, and I think that what is has is a lot of SPACE. It’s not folk music at all, the songwriting is pop music, but has an openness and a slight wonkiness that makes me thing of jazz more than anything?! Is that just me?
The mix and instruments are wide apart; it’s not fussy, it’s not trying too hard. It’s intimately produced, everything up close in the mix, and the really clever icing on the top is Rozi’s double tracked (ALWAYS double tracked!) vocal, both perfect and flat and, again, unassuming. No vocal ticks, no showing off. Subtle AF. But my god, it’s effective.
So to this new album, which has moved her sound and the conversation about what she is and what she does on considerably. This is squelchier affair, a lot more synths and swathes of electronic sound. But what remains is that commitment to the subtle, the mysterious and the gently persuasive. I don’t want to get hung up on a whole gender thing and resort to any stereotypes, but I do think this is a very female take on songwriting – it is insistent but it’s not trying to show off. And I get that someone could listen to this and miss the whole thing. To be honest, I was worried when I chose it that you all might feel that way too, and it’s been heartening to hear that she’s connecting with you.
So what’s going with the songwriting. Let’s start with a slightly fanciful quote from her own Bandcamp age:
The music of Rozi Plain has always felt like a freeze-frame. A colourful and graceful snapshot of the world, paused, suspended in time, and then gently toyed with, like stepping out of the linear world as we know it.
Yeah, I know, it’s a bit much, but it does touch on something. The songs kind of in a here and now. They’re about a current conversation, something that’s happening in real time. That’s actually quite unusual!
In Agreeing for Two, she sings: “What should we call it If nothing will do? It’s nothing we’ll do But what should we call it?”
I mean, who knows what the argument/discussion is about. But we know that feeling, right, about not being able to find common ground in a relationship?
All the way through the album, there are refrains in the lyrics that are repeated so often they’re like mantras:
If it’s a feeling/That’s going/When it goes/You even know/Help for you/Help for you/Help for you..
My god, that could be anything. Depression? The end of a relationship? Trying to help a friend? I love that space these songs give you to make sense of them in your way. Prove Your Good goes even further, reducing most of the whole song to that mantra (note it’s not Prove ‘YOU’RE’ Good but Prove YOUR Good i.e. prove that you have worth).
I’m going to go even further and do the worst thing possible: quite Pitchfork:
Working with minimalist guitar, gentle vocals, and an understated rhythm section, Plain constructs a careful lesson about the awe of being present in the moment.
Back to that thing about time again. Maybe that’s what keeps me coming back to her work. Listening to it puts me in the moment. I’m here and it’s now. I can work to it, I can relax to it, I can think to it. Can’t think of many records that’s true of.
I’m already loving this as much as the last record, and I’m also really grateful that it feels like a significant musical step forward. She’s not staying put, she’s on the move. And I’m very happy to be on the journey with her. Very much looking to your thoughts on this fascinating album!
Festive Greetings from This Is Not Happening and welcome to our year-end, 2025 wrap-up episode. As always we split the pod into Part 1 and Part 2.Part 1 features our Top 10 favourite albums of 2025. We use a proprietary algorithm to create our list our collective favourite albums, we're talking nascent data-science excellence! Every year it throws up some surprises as our tastes are so different (and in some ways so similar.Part 2 features a festive Spin It or Bin It. We each bring a candidate for track of the year and ask the age old question 'Spin It or Bin It' … will anyone really bin anyone elses Track of the Year? Probably.To retain the tension, I won't share any spoilers here … other than to share a 40 track playlist of some of our favourite 2025 tracks … here.Whatever you do at this time of year, who ever you do it with … have a good one.Please join us in January where we will go back to the usual format of Album of the Month + Spin It or Bin It.We've been writing the blog for years come and have a look – https://thisisnothappening.net/
Our first AOTM episode in 2023 finds us exploring Ab Soul’s ‘Herbert’ in Part 1 and we focus on New Music for ‘Spin It or Bin It’ in Part 2.
Part 1 | Album of the Month | Ab Soul | Herbert
It’s Nolan’s choice this month and he’s taking us to his spiritual home – Hip Hop with Ab Soul’s late 2022 release, ‘Herbert’. For once, we’re all coming to this artist pretty fresh . Nolan’s been banging on about the singles from this album for like 6 months so giving the album some extended love seems a natural choice.
If you’ve not heard it, we think it’s well worth a listen …
Our discussion focuses on how we’d describe the album, mental health, suicide and how these topics impact the album, the length of the album, the bangers and of course we touch on a few of the clangers too.
We mention a few things that we’d highly recommend checking out, so here are the links;
Joey’s alternative, 10 track playlist that focuses on the bangers – Here
Guy’s alternative, 11 track playlist that focuses on the narrative – Here
Part 2 | Spin It or Bin It | ‘New Music’ (Nov ’22 onwards)
We all pick a tack based on a theme and present to the rest of us to ask the simple question, Spin it or Bin it? The theme this month is a simple one ‘New Music’. The only rule is that the track has to be released after November 2022. We chose albums from as far a field as Doncaster and Russia.
David is in the hot seat for AOTM and he’s bringing Rozi Plain’s new album ‘Prize’ to the table. We’re all getting stuck in and seeing how we live with the album for a month or so. In Part 2, ‘Spin It or Bin It?’ will be a good one too … the theme next month is Protest Music.
As we start of a new year of what I imagine will be another year of fantastic music, I like many am still mopping up the spill over of late releases in 2022. An easy choice for this month’s album of the month would have been either the new Stormzy or Little Simz releases which are both exceptional. But they have had a lot of well deserved coverage and I’m sure most of us are well into their releases being in heavy rotation. Instead I’m bringing to the table and album that is complicated, and I’m confident is going to be a challenge to at least 2 of the 4 of us. Why? Because it’s an album that I think shouldn’t be missed. The album I’ve chosen is Ab-Soul’s ‘Herbert’.
Ahead of the ‘why’, it’s important that we delve into the ‘who’. Cards on the table, though I’d like to say that I’m a big fan of hip hop and have a fairly extensive knowledge I don’t actually know that much about Ab-Soul or his music. With the exception of his membership in Black Hippy and being signed to TDE my knowledge stops there. Most recent articles focus heavily on his debut album ‘Control System’ and how his conspiracy theory lidded rhymes made him popular with underground hip hop heads and built him a strong following that lauded after him over his next few albums. All of this passed me. Though he’s signed by TDE, they have released his music independently whilst the majority of TDE artists such as Kendrick, Schoolboy Q, etc. have released their music through major labels such as Interscope. Previously happy with his underground path, Ab-Soul has admitted on numerous occasions recently that this latest release carried a heavy amount of pressure to break him into the mainstream. Part of the plan was to move away from his conspiracy theories and create an album that was personal and more of a reflection of him. Like the 3 others on this blog / podcast I have approached this album and artist with no history and previous impressions. Impressed by the initial singles I was expecting a well produced collection of solid songs. What I found is an album reflecting an artist’s internal and external turmoil, raw emotions, and a journey.
Not long after the release of Herbert, Ab-Soul confirmed in and interview with Charlamange that after completing the majority of the album he tried to commit suicide by jumping off of an overpass close to his mothers house. He largely blames substance abuse and the loss of his best friend for the attempt, though suicide has haunted Ab-Soul over the last 10 years with both his ex girlfriend Alori Joh as well as previous collaborator Mac Miller both taking their lives. Digesting this and the time of when many of the songs were recorded brings an immediacy to many of the tracks and exposes layers in the lyrics that I missed on the first few listens.
In a recent NPR interview he talked about ’the disconnect with the people around him that matter the most’ and how he dealt with this. Much of it is channeled through ‘Herbert’. The album is a journey, a musical memoir, it has a district start, middle and end. Songs interweave into each other as Ab-Soul works through his journey to getting to where he wants / needs to be.
Starting off with ‘Message In A Bottle’, the album is perfectly set up laying out his frustrations and ambitions. Whilst ’No Report Card’ gives us a hint of his state of mind through the recording of album with the chorus of ’so-low, don’t go so low, may day, grade a, no report card’ whilst dropping hints of frustration through lines like ’solar system, I’m sick of planet earth’.
Released last April, ‘Hollandaise’ was the first single from the album. It was the track that made me sit up and pay attention to Ab-Soul. I love the swagger and confidence of Ab-Soul on the track. It reminds me of Jay-Z on Reasonable Doubt. The beat also throbs of the Cali hip hop I grew to love in the early 90’s. It also sets Ab up perfectly for the next track ‘Moonshooter’.
My favourite track of 2022, Moonshooter is as close to hip hop perfection you can get. There are so many lines I love in this song, but the stand out has to be: ‘Hopped of the porch like, “One of these days I’ma hop out the Porsche”, caught up in a daze’. I’m not sure why, but it always sticks with me and makes me smile. The song alone paints such as great picture, and the video adds a next level to the track as it depicts two young boys and the mischief they can get up to on an average day.
‘FOMF’ is the first song that I struggled with on the album, it’s not my bag. With that, I can imagine the younger (under 40) listeners will really like this track as it’s got the trap feel that all the youngsters are into (I’ve shuttered whilst writing that). I can imagine a bunch of youth’s bouncing around to this will mobile phones in the air…. doing a trap dance to it.
Ab quickly won me back with ‘Goodman’ which samples one of my favourite tracks ‘Am I A Good Man’ by Them Two that we featured previously on Spin It or Bin It. It sits nicely at the midpoint and sets up ‘Do Better’ perfectly.
Whilst ‘Moonshooter’ was my favourite track of 2022, ‘Do Better’ is my theme song for 2023 as Ab highlights how he can always improve as the brilliant sample of Nick Hakim’s ‘Green Twins’ haunts the song.
Though the first half has a positive feel, the second half is a stark look into Ab-Soul’s mind at the time of recording the track. Do Better, thought touching on suicide, was recorded before his suicide attempt. Ironically it feels like he wrote it after. Soul has highlighted that his suicide wasn’t a direct attempt. It was driven by being under the influence and effect of his own drug use. Ab’s line of ‘Doing drugs was just a war with boredom but it’s sure to get me’ sadly foreshadows real life events that were soon to follow. We’ve talked on previous podcasts about the recent trend of artists, especially hip hop artists opening talking about mental health openly. For me this song is a glowing beacon towards the positive on a very dark subject, though I question its’ dynasty if events had ended differently.
‘Gang’nem’ slightly sidetracks the emotional flow of the album, but is special. I recently was listening to a conversation with Talib Kweli and Yassin Bay where they were discussing the concept of reality rap. Hip hop is a product of its’ environment and as it has taken over the mainstream I think some listeners forget about its’ roots. ‘Gang’nem’ taps into the gang affiliations that Ab-Soul grew up with and brought me back to hearting tracks of gang tales in my early days of getting into hip hop. Not to glorify gang culture, the track gives us a reminder that within much of metropolitan America, gang culture is still prevalent.
‘Wildside’ gives us a midway break through ‘Herbert’, though as we get to the second half I find the album hits some bumps in the road. For the brilliance of some of the songs in the first half of the album there are flaws in the second half. ’The Art of Seduction’ isn’t my personal cup of tea, whilst ‘Bucket’ and ‘Go Off’ aren’t to the level of the album and find themselves lost in the over all feel of the album. ‘Fallacy’ brings you back into the fold ahead of the James Blake produced ‘Herbert’. The title track is a reconning as he faces into his demons and layers of positivity start making their way into the album.
‘Church On The Move’ brings light to the album, it’s one of my favourite tracks on the album. I can see this as a single. The opening lyrics are a statement of intent.
“I sip my drink, I do my dance Don’t throw no stones, don’t hide my hands I played my part, I play it well I trim the fat, still tip the scale I fought that fight, I fall like Hell I ran that race, I tripped, I fell I got right back up (yeah)”
‘It Be Like That’ and ‘Positive Vibes Only’ continue to bring us to the light of the album as the inspiration of his journey continues to break through, ahead of the DJ Premier produced ‘Gotta Rap’ which brings his boom bap MC credentials to the table as he states:
“I even tried suicide and I don’t know whyI know better than most that the soul don’t die Took a leap, shattered my leg and lost some teeth And I’m still standing behind every word I speak, peep”
Ab-Soul has highlighted that the track was originally recorded before his suicide attempt, but it was important to re-wrote the lyrics of the song inline with where he wanted to leave the album.
Ab-Soul has created an album that serves the listener with some fantastic tracks that are catchy and should lead to streams, social media trends, and other tick box exercises that most artists and labels now focus on. As an album, Herbert is unintentional journey that unearths the path that he has fought through in real time. Though he’s a seasoned veteran of hip hop, you get the feeling that he is an artist with a new drive, and this album is the start of what could be an incredible run as an artist.
Presenting this album for our monthly review is risky, I get that it’s not everyones bag. Guy’s not going to like the language, Joey will think some of the lyrics are throw away and lazy, and David will need to spend more time than he perhaps has to dig into the lyrics (though when he does they will click). What I can guarantee is that when you commit to this album it’s an album that will stick with you.
We are big big Little Simz fans here at TINH, and while we were mixed with our view of Sometimes I Might Be Introvert (S.I.M.B.I.) – for me, it was a brilliant record, somewhat let down by the strange skits from Emma Corrin / Lady Di in the Crown – we all adored Grey Area for its energy, power and sheer do-not-give-a-fuck attitude (not to mention amazing flow and vibe).
And as we all got to thinking about our 2022 Top Tens, here landed No Thank You, on 12 December, to land in that strange slot of after end of year lists, but not in 2023, hence a sort of hinterland. But my god, it doesn’t really matter, because it’s an amazing work. Much more personal, and pared back than the maximal feel of SIMBI, this sees Simz and her producer, Inflo, in perfect harmony. Gorilla may be one of my tracks of the year as a late entry, and if it came out in November, it would’ve likely been in my Top 5, straight in!
It’s great to have her back, but perhaps next time, release on 2nd Jan?
Festive Greetings from This Is Not Happening and welcome to our year-end, 2025 wrap-up episode. As always we split the pod into Part 1 and Part 2.Part 1 features our Top 10 favourite albums of 2025. We use a proprietary algorithm to create our list our collective favourite albums, we're talking nascent data-science excellence! Every year it throws up some surprises as our tastes are so different (and in some ways so similar.Part 2 features a festive Spin It or Bin It. We each bring a candidate for track of the year and ask the age old question 'Spin It or Bin It' … will anyone really bin anyone elses Track of the Year? Probably.To retain the tension, I won't share any spoilers here … other than to share a 40 track playlist of some of our favourite 2025 tracks … here.Whatever you do at this time of year, who ever you do it with … have a good one.Please join us in January where we will go back to the usual format of Album of the Month + Spin It or Bin It.We've been writing the blog for years come and have a look – https://thisisnothappening.net/
It’s that time of year again, we dust off David’s scoring-algorithm for the end of year review. This is the one we look forward to and we hope you enjoy it.
This month, in Part 1 we run through our collective, This is Not Happening Top-10 albums. In Part 2 we all introduce our Track of the year.
Part 1 | 2022 This is Not Happening Top 10 Albums
So, there’s for of us. We all independently chose our Top 10 albums. This data is fed into deep learning algorithm that considers all of the knowns and most of the unknowns and create a singular, collective This is Not Happening Top 10. Its a controversial approach but its as fair as we can make it.
This year only 2 albums were chosen by all 4 of us. Only 3 albums were chosen by 3 of us. However, the Top 10 feels more ‘shared’ than we’ve ever done. I think it’s a really solid top 10 and we should be proud of it.
Our number one is an absolute belter! We can hold our heads high with this one.
Part 2 | Tracks of the Year
How do you sum up an entire year in one track? Is it even possible? Two, important questions, to which our answers are; ‘with difficulty’ and ‘yes’. We chose 4 tracks from 4 different genres. There’s more than a whiff of melancholy that links our Top tracks but we think is kind of fitting for one of the oddest of years.
Next Month
If we’re honest, we’re not 100% sure what we’ll be reviewing. Every year there are albums released later in the year that we miss or simply don’t have the time to get our teeth into. So Nolan will pick one of these albums and we’ll all spend the holidays getting stuck into that with our families (if it’s vaguely appropriate for very young or very old ears).
Festive Greetings from This Is Not Happening and welcome to our year-end, 2025 wrap-up episode. As always we split the pod into Part 1 and Part 2.Part 1 features our Top 10 favourite albums of 2025. We use a proprietary algorithm to create our list our collective favourite albums, we're talking nascent data-science excellence! Every year it throws up some surprises as our tastes are so different (and in some ways so similar.Part 2 features a festive Spin It or Bin It. We each bring a candidate for track of the year and ask the age old question 'Spin It or Bin It' … will anyone really bin anyone elses Track of the Year? Probably.To retain the tension, I won't share any spoilers here … other than to share a 40 track playlist of some of our favourite 2025 tracks … here.Whatever you do at this time of year, who ever you do it with … have a good one.Please join us in January where we will go back to the usual format of Album of the Month + Spin It or Bin It.We've been writing the blog for years come and have a look – https://thisisnothappening.net/
Guess who’s back. Back again. TINH’s back. Tell a friend.
This month, in Part 1 we go deep on this month’s Album of the Month by Sudan Archives. In Part 2 we play ‘Spin It or Bin It’, where we choose a theme and each bring our choice of tracks. This month the theme is ‘Our own personal entrance music’.
Part 1 | Album of the Month | Sudan Archives | Natural Brown Prom Queen
It’s my (Joey’s) choice this month and we’ve gone with a belter of a sophomore album by Sudan Archives that easily claims the best titled album of the year ‘Natural Brown Prom Queen’
(personally I’ve got my eye on the ‘I just wanna get my titties out’ t-shirt –here)
As always we kick off with what we expected from the album and what we got. Then we explore favorite tracks, sequencing of the album, why ‘OMG Britt’ nearly ruined the whole thing for Guy’, the creative process of making the album and the influences that we hear.
We mention a few things that we’d highly recommend checking out, so here are the links;
Part 2 | Spin It or Bin It | ‘Our own personal entrance music’
The theme for Spin It or Bin It is a bit different this month. We’re choosing our ‘Entrance Music’ and describing the event or circumstances that we’re entering. If that doesn’t make too much sense, just listen to the episode! This month, the 4 tracks were …
The big one! The end of year review. Hold on tight. We count down our 10 favourite albums of the year, featuring lots of moaning about David’s album scoring algorithm. We also present our tracks of the year. Can you sum up the year musically in one track? It’s a lot tougher than you’d think.
Other episodes of the pod and 10 years of the blog;
If you enjoyed this episode, please check out the others. If that’s not enough for you then there’s 10 years worth of music discussion on the blog at www.thisisnothappening.net, which runs alongside the podcast choices and much, much more.
I had THE BEST intro song, or so I thought until I played it for my wife. It was a fight song, it was gritty, aggressive and punched you in the face. When I played it for my wife she looked at me with disgust. ‘What’s this shit? This isn’t you?!’. She then put this track on. ‘This is your intro!’. She was right. I never want to fight anyone, I want to enter a room and make people smile, I want high 5’s, I want memories, I want hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us!
There is no scenario that this song shouldn’t be played. In fact, it’s gritty, it’s a fight song, it’s aggressive, but people will hug, smile, cry, run, walk, dance, love and motivate to it. This is actually the first song that I don’t care if it looses in spin it or bin it… this is my intro / outro and theme song.
Put me in a Western movie, walking into school as a youth, getting out of the bed..shower.. ready for work scene…. Get this on!
I loved this ‘track’ idea when we heard it. I thought I’d have TONS of ideas. So many, that I didn’t really think about it until about 2 weeks ago, while on holiday, and realised I had no bloody idea what to do. Was it entrance to a boxing ring? The start of a film? All the tracks that first came to mind were for the end of a film (‘roll credits’) and that wasn’t the brief, though perhaps a great new one.
Then, I didn’t really feel I was doing anything original. I had a playlist/mood board, but it didn’t really say much about why or what it meant to me other than ‘wicked track’. Then I read David’s post and realised you could really run away with it. And here we are. One of my favourite tracks, yes, and possibly not as original as either Joey or David’s, but the idea came to me very quickly once I listened to it. And while there’s a bit of disconnect between the song (and its release) and my ‘entrance’, it all fits.
So, here’s my scene. Sit back, and enjoy.
[Warning: Artistic licence and a time machine required]
Location: an English boarding school in the late 80s.
Kids sitting glumly in monochrome in their form room, doing more dreary homework. Not a sound. Heads down. Too many detentions lately. Not long to bed time. Another grey day in middle class, middle England. Until….
In come the 6th formers. Bored and irritated, with some imperceptible slight. It’s time to pick on whoever’s in front of them, and in this case it’s the nerds. Always the nerds. This time it’s the 2nd years, minding their own business. But here they come, all rolled up sleeves, small-knotted ties and wispy facial hair, kings of the world, at least in their own mind. And ready for another shitkicking of whoever, because these lads are in the first XI, and nothing ever happens to them. Think the classic high school movie cliche, jocks v nerds, except extract all the US glamour, sunny climate, and general colour and mix in a tablespoon of English uptightness, a few drips of angst and the whiff of educational institutionalism and it’s about to kick off, in the most one-sided of ways.
The 2nd years are fed up. They’ve seen this movie too. There’s never a reason for a shoeing other than ‘why not’? And if they’re lucky, they’ll just get their homework spat on, chucked in the bin or their tie pulled tight so they can’t undo it. At worst, bumps, bruises, or perhaps even a broken bone, ready to be covered up with a chat to the parents from the headmaster because ‘we can’t harm our glorious (not very good) reputation’.
First a push, then someone’s dragged out of a cubicle. There’s a smirk, and the gang spreads out. Time slows down. The inevitable awaits….
BUT WAIT. One cubicle is empty. No one notices. Until now. Cue music…. Revenge is finally to be exacted.
[Sound of loud music: Beastie Boys: Sabotage]
Switch to HD. Turn up the colour. Crank up the volume. The guitar kicks in. In walks the kid that has taken enough and isn’t going to take any more. Slow-mo as the first punch lands on that entitled, smug jaw. Out cold. Everyone turns, facing their target. A lucky punch, they think, he’s toast. But it’s just the beginning.
[Sabotage continues, vocals kick in],
Like a mix of Bruce Lee’s grace and power, Arnie’s muscle and Eddie Murphy’s cool, each attacker is repelled with a mix of roundhouses, blocks, jabs. one-inch punches, in slow-mo glory, taking down the older boys that have had this coming for 5 years, treating everyone lower than them like vermin because they’ve spent their lives being told that they’re alpha males who’ll never get their desserts (and yes, they’ll all still on to to be bankers and management consultants, divorced by 35 with a head full of regret and a cocaine problem, enjoy that) but this is the day of the fightback.
In they pile to the lone fighter: 6th formers, 5ths, until the scene resembles a cartoon dust cloud with limbs flying, until a lull
[Sabotage hits 1:37. and as the melody kicks back in]
A hail of bodies fly outwards like an explosion, through windows, walls, doors, until only the hero is left standing, surrounded by his classmates, mouths agape.
He surveys the scene, no movement, brushes dust of his shoulder, and walks out into the sunshine, as the track dies out.
[END]
There you go. Let’s call it long wished-for revenge, and leave it at that.
This months’ theme is ‘entrance music’. We all pick our event or occasion (for us to enter) and a track that suits both us and the occasion (and hopefully something that the other brothers want to ‘spin’, rather than ‘bin’).
I’ve considered a number of different occasions but have picked a very specific event for which I’ll probably need to paint you a picture.
The setting for my story is a powerlifting gym in any unfashionable northern town, pick any, it doesn’t really matter. It’s about 20 mins off the M62 or perhaps off the M61 (again, it doesn’t really matter). It’s on the 2nd floor of the old mill building above a carpet warehouse, the paint’s peeling off the walls and it smells like, well, it smells like a powerlifting gym. There’s just enough room for a handful of family, friends and training partners. They’re either standing against the walls between squat racks or perched on benches.
You’re at your first powerlifting competition, except that word doesn’t really matter, nobody’s competing against each other, just themselves. 18 stone veterans, 7 stone first time teenage lifters and everything in between. Everybody cheers for everybody. Nobody wants to see anyone fail any lift.
Each lifter is allowed 60 seconds to make their lift. Lifters can choose their own music. Anything (but it’s mostly Metallica). So you get a maximum 60 seconds of your chosen track … but in reality you probably don’t want to take that long.
It’s not really ‘entrance’ music as you’re probably just walking from the corner of the room to the lifting platform. It’s not much of an entrance. But your track is your own personal hype-man, slapping you on the back and screaming in your ear. It plays for the time it takes to cinch your belt, chalk up and hit the smelling salts, approach the bar and go through your well practiced max deadlift ritual.
The track has to make you feel something visceral and it has to do it quickly. It has to connect in a way that taps into something real. Something physical. It’s not necessarily about all-out aggression (though it often is), it could be a head nodder, a party anthem or … it could be Tanaka 2 by Joey Valence and Brae featuring Logic;
When I first heard this track, I did what any self respecting friend should do and sent it straight to Nolan. His immediate response was ‘This is a proper Joey track, how much could you lift to this?’ My entrance music and my setting was chosen in one what’s app response.
I’ve hit all of my lifetime best lifts to one of two tracks – Ante Up by MOP feat. Busta Rhymes or Hip Hop by Dead Prez. But what’s the point in picking the obvious tracks that we all know?
I’ve gone for Tanaka 2 as it ticks all the big-lift-boxes. It’s an immediate shot of adrenaline straight into the central nervous system. Massive early 90s vibes with obvious nods to Beastie Boys but also slabs of Public Enemy Bomb Squad production tropes all wrapped up in a contemporary (El-P influenced ?) beat. It’s got a great guest-verse by Logic but the main vocal punch is delivered by Joey Valence in verse 1 and given the 60 second lift limit we won’t need anymore than that.
And also, it’s a brand new music release which is how we like to roll on the pod where possible.
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